change.

I'm not always so great with change and getting completely out of my comfort zone but I know that as a Christian woman I need to be prepared for anything and be sensitive to what God tells me in my life.

Lately, He has spoken a lot and our world has flipped.
Yesterday was our last Sunday at the church we've been leading worship for the last 10 months. We were faced with much adversity from our worship team and even some members of the church. At first I thought things could get better, that people would start to accept and respect my husband and we would all love each other and be happy.
But I know this isn't a perfect world. We are all completely full of flaws, character defects, and problems... but that still didn't stop my heart breaking for my husband.
Through all the trials and tribulations he endured, it was very clear how faithful he was to listening to God's voice and to follow his true calling. Many times I flat out told him, "We need to leave the church. I can't take it anymore" and he said, very calmly, "That's not what it's about, Shaylee."

And it truly isn't.
No matter where we go or what we do in this life we are going to be with others that don't like us one bit, are opposed to the way we are or the things we do, and will always find something wrong with us. That's okay. We are here to spread the gospel through love and grace because that is who God is to us.

I admit we've been hurt by some things that have been said or done against us, but I believe we are in a rapid healing process. Though it's hard and the easy thing to do would be to hold grudges and just walk away, I am forgiving these people without them even offering an apology. It's an awareness that we are fallen creatures and I am no different than any of them. I, too, have gossiped about people and have destroyed them with my tongue. I have treated people poorly because they didn't see my view on things. I'm a sinner rescued by the grace of God.

Knowing God has these people covered and I don't need to dwell on it is peaceful for me. He is in complete control over the church and the leaders. He can change anyone's heart or mind in a second.

Unfortunately, this kind of situation is what brings a lot of people further from God and bitter with the church. And that breaks my heart, truly. At a place where we are suppose to feel accepted, loved and embraced, many people often feel attacked, unwelcomed, and judged. I think it's extremely important to remember this. These aren't just statistics, but the reality we are living in. To the believers in Christ that are reading my blog you all need to pray.
Pray for your church, your leaders, the people who come to your church every week and don't feel welcomed, and also pray for your heart. The heart can be very deceitful and we can be so comfortable in our bubble that we forget to extend our hands and reach out. I, too, am so guilty of this and I know I need to be led by the Spirit more.

I'm so grateful for the past 10 months. I've met some great friends that will forever be my family, I've learned a lot not only about ministry but about God, I love the youth of the church and think they are amazing and wonderful, and our Pastor was a true Shepherd. He doesn't only minister to the congregation on Sunday mornings but every day of the week at every hour. He is so compassionate and loving and he gave us a chance. We walked into the church freshly married and out of worship school, young and naive (still are I'm sure) and this Pastor knew we would not be the most experienced of all people, but he trusted us. He knew that we could build relationships with people and he saw our potential.

Even at the last moments of being there the only word I can think of is grateful because this experience has made me and David closer to each other and both of us closer to God. Isn't it crazy that in the hard times we can feel God's presence so much more because we need it? We can feel Him in the good times, too, but the bad times His presence is so much more apparent.

We have a great God.

Oh, and I've been sticking to all my New Years resolutions so far.
I've lost 5 pounds,
I learned "Can you Feel the Love Tonight" on the piano with both hands (don't ask about the song choice, it just happened that way),
and I have several auditions this week that I'm going to.

And I dyed my hair back to red. I figured that 2011 would be a year of change. It certainly is. So I needed a 'do that would fit that. It's totally rockin'.

We don't know what's next or even where we are going, but it's the start of a great adventure. I'm truly excited for it, and a little nervous at the same time.
God's the author of our lives and right now I know He is grinning and saying, "My plans are huge. Just you wait and see."